Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in invisiblechic's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 26th, 2005
5:22 pm	my saturday. so today i was walking back from my lesson pondering life. you know just a lil of this and a lil of that. mostly about how much i really hate life. i was comtumplating just jumping off my horse right then and there. then i said claire how dumb are you?! god all that would do is create a loose horse. thats more work for you ding dong. well if we (me myself and i)we'd want to do it right. o yes this is a good idea now. jump off so he can run over you. NO NO NO!! stupid the horse would still be loose. well okay okay maybe suiside wudnt be the best way to deal with this okay well wuts good in life??.....think........think......THINK......THINK DAMIT .............................. grrrrrrrrrr........still thinking! okay lets not think because i may end up killing myself. then all in a flash of light i saw the angel of god. he said CLAIRE you have comited the worst sin ever... -uhh wut?- YES! and as soon as he was there he was gone. i thought WOAH claire lay off the snow. dam girl ur relle startin 2 trip now. so i shook it off and brought fluffy back to the barn and walked to get his feed. i was relle thinking now. jeez! wut the fuck did i do that i wud trip out like that bc they say trip outs r like dreams. they mean things. well im guna think about this later i told my self that i was prob tripin bc my lil bro was daten my bff. hes a freshman n shes a senior. then i thought more aww poor me. i am so much prettier than her and i cant get a bf god im relle lame. well...Empty spaces fill me up with holes,Distant faces with no place left to go,Without you within me I can't find no rest,Where I'm going is anybody's guess I try to go on like I never knew you, I'm awake but my world is half asleep, I pray for this heart to be unbroken, But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete Voices tell me I should carry on,But I am swimming in an ocean all alone,Baby, my baby, it's written on your face,You still wonder if we made a big mistake I don't mean to drag it on,But I can't seem to let you go, I don't wanna make you face this world alone,I wanna let you go (alone) ...Incomplete. yah so after i had that lil thought i took his feed 2 his bucket and as i walkd to clean it out and put all my crap away i kinda relized that it mayb about how i cant let myself have wut i want. like wen i shot myself my dumping my boyfriend who i am still madly inlove with him. if i could take it and make it better i would. i would have alot more love for myself and towards the people around me. seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me, I used to stand so tall,I used to be so strong, your arms around me tight,everything felt so right, unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong no I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I'm barely hangin' on Here I am, once again, i'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you were the one, broken up, deep inside, but you wont get to see the tears I cry, behind these hazel eyes I told you everything,opened up and let you in, you made me feel alright, for once in my life, now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be, sewed together but so broken up inside no I can't breathe, no I can't sleep, I'm barely hangin' on Here I am once again i'm torn into pieces can't deny it, can't pretend just thought you were the one broken up, deep inside but you wont get to see the tears I cry behind these hazel eyes swallow me then spit me out, for hated you I blame myself, seeing you, it kills me now, though I dont cry on the outside anymore. then i packd up my shit. didnt even say good by to anyone and walked all the way home from portola vally (to los altos ) to be continued... (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
9:41 pm	UGH!! so i got all prdy to go out and have fun but no one ""COULD MAKE IT"". ROAR boo peOple are stupid and ugly and fat. i hate people.!!!!! Current Mood: im PERFECT n ppl are gay (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2005
9:51 am	so i am having a lazy day... no one is on so im left to update my livejournal which i have been putting off for sum time now. right this very moment i am sitting infront of the tv and i am killing brain cells watching a not very good cartoon. its like little elves running around saying its spring time and i guess that they put the spring color in everything. but the clouds are trying to make it not srping--wow okay this makes it offical i have no real life. haha well my 4th was very uneventful. i went to the symphony at shoreline then watched fireworks. OO so fun i noe. O well this gets complicated so follow closly, my mom (ginna) divorced my dad (brian) wen i was 9 then remarried a guy (john). well johns 2nd wife (heidi) started dated brian a while back and now their moving intogether. which is relle weird Current Mood: lazy day (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
11:30 am	~BLAH~ http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.starland.com/sf-sc/sf03/images/Silly%2520Putty.JPG&imgrefurl=http://www.starland.com/sf-sc/sf03/SF03_Slides.html&h=540&w=720&sz=47&tbnid=55txCfipXL8J:&tbnh=104&tbnw=139&hl=en&start=15&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsilly%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
11:12 pm	anna claire and lindsay cow andventure! omg! okay. so today anna lindsay and i went and had a picnic at my barn. after we looked around n played with the horses we were driving and i saw a cow. and it was alone and as we all know cows live in herds so i was like red flag! anna: isnt it sleeping? claire: NO guys its dieing! lindsay: no its giveing birth... claire: omg its dead! anna: oh no! lindsay what do we do?! claire: i dono.... anna: uhh i dono so we get out of the car and try to get closer and see if its okay. but we cant relle see. so we are looking around a privte property fenced in feild and its chained up but a car drives up and were like SHIT! lindsay: umm pretend to smoke anna: no thats dumb! pretend im yelling at you. yelling blah blah blah~~~ car dives away i go up to the fence and hold it so lindsay can go through claire: lindsay your skinny you go see if its okay. anna: or you could just open the gate... hahaha laughter<<< we walk in another car drives up and... claire: DONT move! we all freze anna: i think we should go towards the trees claire/lindsay: no they might see us move they drive away and we start walking more towrds the cow who is now twiching a little bit and we all turn around and mexicans in a bigg truck come driveing right towrds us and we are like shit! they come in the feild drive towrds the cow and look at us like we were trying to hurt it but we walk like ten more feet and we see a baby cow body.dead. and we are all like OMG!! wow! and the mexicans run and get water and give the mama food. spin her around so she is on a downward slope. and then anna fails at remembering her spanish so we couldnt talk to them and then we discovered the mom was only two years old so her body wasnt mature enough to birth a baby yet so it died. lindsay took pics eith her camera fone. we watched the mom for like 15 min. then moved to the baby and watched the dead body for like 1o min. and anna says stupidly "i hope its okay" and lindsay looks over and is like ANNA! then it clicks into place with anna and we all giggle. at this time the mexicans have slowly moved back to the gate and are asking if we need more time. haha we said nonono and said thankyou and we went on our marry way in utter disbelief that that just happend to us! Current Mood: long day.... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
10:17 pm	disco dancing queen so tonight was a bust. we(lindsay n i) were suppost to go out n party with lindsay#2 but she never got back to us so that blew. and lindsay told me shed calll at 5ish never called. finaly i called her at 6ish n she said it would be ten min but it was like a hour n a half. so wen she gets there i think its gona b anna. but its nick n alex too. fine no biggy. but im in a relle sour mood from earlier in the day at the barn. long story short im being forgotten in the one place i feel like i can be me for real and i feel safe. i am no longer safe in my safe place. but w/e neway so i get in the car n i dont say nething. so lindsay n anna: CLAIRE wuts wrong... claire: um noting... lindsay: claire your lieing anna: yah claire wuts wrong? claire: nothing is wrong! ect ect ect so basicly i feel like the odd man out. they take my cigs and then we go buy booz 4 anna n alex n nick that takes like 30min nearly. stop by alexs house, they take more cigs. then al last we go to central park meet up with the lesser evil ppl n friends, hella ppl i didnt know, which makes me hella freak(its gettn kinda out of hand) but their suppost to have a practice. no go.... so we kick it for like 20 min-ish. after lindsay has her bigg breakdown with sean. we leave. and my stupid other friends dont pick up my fone calls. so i am forced inside to type this to livejournal. god i have no life no friends i am a failed human... Current Mood: grr horrible mood... (Comment on this)
Monday, May 23rd, 2005
12:20 pm	man o man i wish i wasnt home. well the shows went great did hella well with truffles. and im starting to understand fluffy better. truff n i got scores in the 80's which is hella good. 2nds n 3rd the whole way thru. and fluffy n i are still learning about eachother. yah on last thrusday i took a rather bad fall over a oxar n brused my ribs prettybadly. yah umm i got to kiss dirt yay lucky me. ha well.... major drama happend while i was down there. probs with leaser's parents. x-bf's being gross stocking petafiles and stupid freshman asking for things fro little people they know arnt involved. yah so it was a okay time. the horses were stuperstars!! the people need to die. x-bf's shouldnt call up x-gf;s lil sisters more than 5 months after the fact and try to befriend her and then when confrounted about it, lie just like the slug he is and play the "uhh i dunno... who's jane?? huh..." game. grrr. but to make it better... a little girl who is duh a freshy but pretends shes hot stuff and everyone likes her goes up to ones little sister and asks her for her skirt back. alright understandable im out of town and she needs it and i forgot to leave it out. wrong! she has never ever asked me for a skirt unless u count like 4 texts. she has never once come up to me and said "do you have my skirt?" or "can i get that back" no. shes way to immature to do something of that leavel. no she asks my sister when shes gettting her hair cut and starts up on this lil girl who has no clue and nothing to do with this. but this is all being taken care off in dew time. but for those of you ever few people who read this i thought you would like to know. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 1st, 2005
11:20 am	yay im so happy im gone for 3weeks! for a little while ill be rid of those people. soon well be at the center really soon. that will be nice, no more fucking eddie. yah so this is the newst update on my show schedule. you people should come down to a pebble beach and come hang out. show schedule 2005 MAY 3-8 del mar national 10-15 showpark 18-22 pebble beach challenge JUNE JULY 19-24 pebble beach festival 26-31 pebble beach classic AUGUST 9-14 menlo charity SEPTEMBER 2-6 woodside back to school 14-18 strides and tides 29-2 woodside finale OCTOBER 12-16 norcal medal finals NOVEMBER 9-13 national preview 16-20 LA national Current Mood: i need a new cell phone (Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
8:30 pm	im begging to think i really am invisible. well no one ever reads my live journal or emails or commets on myspace. so i think it wud be a novel idea to just write down a mass terrorist atack plan or a suicide letter and blam a lot of people who wont read it and hopefully ill die in my sleep of sumthing and maybe lindsay will notice then everyone else will be like oOo right... her yah did she like die o relle well to bad. ugh w/e at least im not diana. so i guess i cant complain. life is good now i think about it. but for all i know people could read this and laugh at me just like hella ppl do at her. o well i just glad i dont look like that UHhhh... (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
10:08 pm	I hate you so much, I can't explain. I want to cause you eternal pain. I want to chop off your head, I hate you so much, I want you dead. I really want you to be killed. If I had my say, your coffin would be filled. I want your life to come to an end. I never even considered you a friend. The time has come for you to go. Don't think it won't hurt, it will be painful and slow. Now i've caught you your face I can see, The only problem is, the face is me. Current Mood: monkey puzzle tree (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, April 22nd, 2005
7:12 pm	well i dono wut to say...umm oh yep the words out we are(my barn) moving to the training center. all most all the horses are going so that would be like 24ish horses going. so thats a bigg move. that happens june 1st. umm wut else is new... o i gained 8 pounds. that sucks. back to fat clothes. i hate my core. that sucks to. i dont have any friends. everyone from school i hang out with only likes me because lindsay said that they had to be. so no one really likes me out side of barn people. yah that sucks hella. wut havent i talked about?... oh home. well that is just so sucky i shouldnt even talk about that here. o poor me haha w/e. O well! anyway basicly i am fat, i fail at school, i am very unpopular, and im a orphan. sucks to be claire. i think we should kill her to put her out of her misery. LETS! Current Mood: feeling sorry for myself Current Music: none (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
7:07 pm	to day was so weird. it felt relle just weird. i havent updated in hella days but w/e hah not like ne1 reads it neway. nancy was actully relle nice wen i told her that i need to more cores. so i dono were im gona go but i know i cant stay in her core. lindsay n i went to jack in the box today and she was fighting with the mexican about sour cream for her potatoes. haha OH lindsay tehetehe. um annaB is the livermore rodeo queen. yay. i dont know if ill be able to stick it out at mid pen. i relle dont know. i dont relle feel i fit. i like it. but i dont feel like the ppl want me there. and they ppl i hang with are lindsays friends. its not like id ever be invited to hang out with them on my own. like with out lindsay. everyone we hang out with i think they think im a tag(-along). like if i went to a diffrent core i would want to go to cathy's. but every1 wud b like lindsays shaddow followd her. bc thats kinda wut i am. i just folloe lindsay around. i feel kinda dumb. i no she doesnt care but i dono i totally bet im makeing sumthing out of nothing. neway soon ill be down south showing my lil butt off and winning loads of bules. just try to think of things that make you happy claire. ha o well. Current Mood: blank (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
11:00 pm	~none i'll roll up my sleeves and see a little piece of my past for everything that went wrong there will be another slash i'll add just a few more to escape from all the pain because everything that could have gone badly did just that today i'll soon be another statistic just another number on the list something that you just might notice and mean more to you than i ever did Current Mood: umm... (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 24th, 2005
10:47 pm	I thought of dying gazing into the black, seductive ice water so glassy and so tranquil I thought of dying but in my place Death's bony embrace clutched listless children gnawed by hunger; prisoners on death row detritus of their own childhoods; poor shepherds grazing blunt-toothed animals on landmined hillsides I thought of dying, to throw myself away so much landfill If it's no use to me I could give it I can holler with my lungs at injustice join hands in protest at brutality I realized that I had long been dead but I could choose instead to reawake and be alive for them Current Mood: moody Current Music: muse (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 25th, 2005
5:12 pm	quizes! Your Sweet Dream (female oriented) by Magenta_Sparrow Username: The man in your dream Brad Pitt The setting horseback riding at night What you did together Make sweet love The ending you were pregnant w/his child What wakes you up Alarm clock Quiz created with MemeGen! Your Suicide.. by Konstantine Your Name/Username Favorite Number? Favorite Color? Gender? FemaleMaleUndecidedBoth How will you commit suicide? You will set your house on fire and sit alone in the corner as the flames consume you How many tries will it take? 34 When will you commit suicide? April 26, 2030 What will your suicide note say? I wish there was another way .. Quiz created with MemeGen! Which Band Should You Be In? by couplandesque Your Name Band Name Sum 41 Role Drummer Trademark Hair Colour Changes Constantly Love Interest The Vocalist Quiz created with MemeGen! HOW DO YOU KISS? by 3circledsun Username Your Kiss... Glides gently towards ... a smooth cheek ... and succumbs to ... luscious lips. Quiz created with MemeGen! <td bgcolor='#DDDDAA' Which Napoleon Dynamite Character are You? by MemeMoose Username Favorite Color Amount of times you have seen the movie I haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite and don't intend to.I haven't seen it yet-but will!1234More than 4 times! You are LaFawnduh Your future career is A professional cow-killer Quote that sums up your life Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: system of a down (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 15th, 2005
7:35 pm	good day! OK!! i had the best day in a LONG LONG LONG ass time!!!!! i jumped a 3 foot rolltop!! on truffles AND fluffy!! wow i totally rock haha jk but i was soso scared but on the landing side it felt so much better! :-D wow i love my boys. that was such a selfestem boster!! i feel i can do nething now ha alwmost. AND!!! yes theres more!! my mom n i talked n she said she wud pull me out of highschool so i could ride full time if debbi thinks i have the talent to make it to the maclay metal!! SO that wud make me feel sososo good if she belives in me that highly... AWH a very good day for claire! <333333 truffy n nutter! i love u boys Current Mood: i SO have the talent Current Music: spice gurls......... hehe (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 5th, 2005
12:13 am	well today sum1 went into my mypace and put up in bigg letters "LOSER" ughughugh i fixed it but im pissed as hell i just want my myspace 2 go bac 2 the way it was with my duckies! n yellow n black. ugh so who ever did it comment me so i can change the password bac so u can fix wut u need 2 fix. Current Mood: im gona bust a cap!! (Comment on this)
Monday, January 3rd, 2005
6:27 pm	egh ROAR!!! skools bac i hate skool. but w/e!! i decided that it wud b better if i let andrew go. so im andrew free. and fluffy is PERFECT!!! we jumped 2'6'' haha o well. and i had a very happy new year. i wen out n messed around with my fellas n had mucho mucho funo. i painted my room!!! YELLOW!! yah on a unhappy note my home shit is gettin worse with is sucky but w/e i live in my room with my computer and system of a down. after i make dindin i hide. ha. so yahyah. ummmmmm nething else?! umm i found out that andrew was dating jen while he was still was with me with was um interesting............................ um no not now neway peace up A town Current Mood: FAT!! Current Music: snow blind (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 26th, 2004
2:08 pm	woot! woot!! woot!!! i cleaned up with xmas! i got hella clothes n all new shit 4 my room. and yah curtis get is offical on the road in like a few days!! wicth means we getta go out n pump in his xmas gift whoo its so pretty!!! but yeah i got loads on my mind but soon it will be all okay. >>i hope :-/ ne way every1 needs a myspace bc its awsum!!!! lol w/e hit yall up l8er Current Mood: flusterd but alive Current Music: stan (Comment on this)
Friday, December 24th, 2004
6:46 pm	chasing the post man named wang chung!! wen stephs rents left this morning they forgot to tell her that they were leaving. so wen her package came from her bf in santa ana she thought one of them wud answer the door. but much to her surprise wen she arose from her beauty sleep at 10:00 she found no1 home and no package. so i being the best friends who happens to live near by i am forsed to go drive around our town looking for the USPS truck that has her package. now there are quite a few mail trucks in our town so we follow all of them and stalk all of the mail carriers asking if they have the package. by 10th truck/mail man named wang chung. we asked and he said he did have it and we were like no ur kiding?! and hes like can i see a ID has shes like hell yah. there u go bitch now give me my package! and hes like merry chirstmas. and we go and get toco bell to celabrate................ o man always a trip with us. haha Current Mood: i feel like dancing!! Current Music: peephole (Comment on this)